So far, this has been the summer of shingles. Four words that describe shingles? Painful, grumpy, isolated, and yes, electrifying, but not in the good way. When Senia Mae heard of my malady, she said, "but Mama, that's an old person's disease and you're not even fifty!" I know that comment was intended to make me feel better. It didn't. My shingles suddenly felt more painful, and I was more grumpy, which made me want to go hide in the closet so I could isolate myself from the stress of summer. Part of that stress? Our local recycling drop-off stopped recycling due to budget cuts. I want to believe I will go to all ends in order to save the earth and the wellbeing of its inhabitants. Most of the time I am successful at believing the story I am telling myself, but lately life has been crazy and painful. I choose to live in the country, so recycling pickup at my home is not an option. There is a county recycling center but it is twenty five minutes in the opposite direction of my daily travels. The Catholic martyr in my head, the one who always talks down to me is saying, good people will make the effort anyway. Catholic martyr, I see you and I hear you.

Me (r) and my niece, Savannah, doing a Mary Catherine Gallagher skit I will never be ready to have the sex talk with my fifth grader. NEVER. I realize it is important, especially as a female, but, there must be a class for that. My opinion is so different from Kim's, who says we should just explain it as she asks. I don't remember my parents explaining it to me. What I remember is hiding in the back of the library and reading the cartoon book, Where Did I Come From? Those were the days. The questions always seem to come when I least expect them: in the carpool line, at the grocery store, or when watching a show that I thought for sure was appropriate for an eleven-year-old. The other day on the way to school we were sitting at the red light, Madonna came on XM Radio. Of course, I get excited, crank up the radio, and spill just a drip of my coffee on the console. My curls bop to the thick synthesizer into....left for two, right right for two... and drums... I'm totally in the zone. I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through... In my mind I see her cropped jean jacket and black leggings. Then I get pulled out of my daydream from a voice in the backseat. "Mama, what's a virgin?" Noooooooooooo, you're only in the fifth grade, I think to myself. I'm not ready for this. Damn it, Madonna. Maybe I can pretend I was so into the music I didn't hear her. This sometimes used to work when she was little. "Mama? What's a VIRGIN?" Senia Mae asks a second time, letting me know I was in no way off the hook with this imperative question. This past Christmas I let her watch my favorite tis the season chick flick, The Holiday, thinking there was nothing inappropriate in there. The dialogue between Jude Law and Cameron Diaz' characters actually mention the word sex frequently, enough for my daughter to ask what sex was. I got away with saying sex was a bunch of kissing and stuff. Now she was four months more mature. I wasn't getting let off the hook easily. "Well, a virgin is someone who hasn't had sex before." I said the words with lightning speed hoping she didn't catch the content and we could, hopefully, move onto the next topic. Nope.

Yesterday my friend proudly boasted that she had kicked the coffee habit and was now healthily enjoying green tea every morning. I was happy for her, wondering if I would ever be able to even contemplate such a drastic measure. She must have caught me rolling my eyes. "What?" she laughed. "It's just funny because there is no way I could even consider giving up morning caffeine until Senia Mae is about eighteen and I am retired. With the amount of effort I have to put into everyday and my lack of sleep over the past six years, a day without coffee would be physiologically impossible," I said. "I am certain I would drop dead before the end of twenty four hours." I'm not being overly dramatic, either. Some mornings it is all I can do to get the child dressed and out of the house.